Return to the dredge of working...

OK- well, there is no way around it. Going back to work after maternity leave blows chunks. Weening is traumatic. Ass-kissing and politics are depressing- and maintaining a schedule exhausting.
However, not having spit-up on my shoulder, engaging in adult converation, and make-up and something fancier than PJs does seem to have it merit.
Its a wicked catch 22, isn't it? Must work to maintain the family- but someone else gets to maintain the childrens...

There just doesnt seem to be a way to get around surviving well on just one income- such a pity.

Queer as Matrimony

As I prepare for my own wedding- I find the process rather repulsive. Its sooo materialistic and public and soo.. spectical. Im not really one for calling so much attention to myslef- esp. not in a WHITE wedding dress. (An I really gonna break character THAT much as to wear white? The jury is still out about that...)
But I find myself getting really excited about it. Besides the flower, cake,and dress drama that seems tocome with this process, I am really settling into the warm fuzzy feeling of eventually being Mrs. Big Guy. It makes me giggle in the middle of the day to myself. Marriage to me is commitment, and fun, and coffe in bed, and flipping between Law and Order and the Sci-fi channel, and holding hands in public, and unbirthday presents, and a shoulder to cry on, and sex, and back rubs,a nd saftey, and loyalty, and cooking together, and missing someone, and compromise and all the things that make my relationship so frikkin awesome with a person who can take my breath away even when doing somethign stupid like couch shopping.
I am allowed to contimplate cakes and (OMG I shit you not) napkin and tablecloth colors- because the Big Guy has a cock and I do not. If we were both packing the same thing- we couldnt even have a wimpy civil cerimony!!!
How messed up is that?? I ask ya??
What frikkin TIME WARP did we fall into? What happed to equality and equal rights? Does it just STOP with SKIN COLOR??
It hurts to think that in this day and age- we still live with such open prejudice. How are we supposed to teach tolerance to our kids if THIS is an example of how tolerant we are?
If you are interested in more info:http://www.freedomtomarry.org/

So we had C's B-day party at the rinky-dink Mid City Lanes... whod'a thunk a cheezy bowling party would make her so happy?
It was very important to me to make sure the people she invited were real friends or had the potential to be real friends-- this crap that has been going on at school really hurts her feelings... middle school kids can be soo cruel. Chalice has really struggled with fitting in and flying below the weird radar. She doesn't have the toughest skin when it comes to the hateful and hurtful things some of her so-called friends say. And no matter how many times I tell her, and her fathe tells her, and every other adult tells her that this is how it was when we were her age... nothing in the history of the world has been as hard on a 11-year-old- gilr-going-on 12 than the venemous words of the crew she pals with in school.
But todays party was a breath of fresh air to all that. Nanny made a suprise appearance and bowled with the kids through the entire party. The cake was sickeningly sweet and covered in pink flowers (as demanded) and she got gifts and stuff from Hot Topic (thats m' girl!!) But was so spiffy for me was to see that all the children who showed were freindly and warm and cool and nice-- we even evolved to the next level and had a BOY at the party. And props to the BOY for showing up without the need for a buddy. (I didnt have evolved BOY friends like that at my Sweet 16!)
She'll continue the festivities at her fathers this evening and on Wednesday... On this side of her fam we'll be doing a dinner thang with Nanny and PopPop and Yaya and all...a fancy dinner so she can glam up- and get some nice gifts..
All and all- I really was pleased with the party- her father showed up before it ended- and with school winding down.. it is a high note for the social scene.